-by Sam
(This was originally written and posted elsewhere 1/11/2021, but today seems like a good time to share it here.)

On New Year’s Day, I sat down and wrote about my hopes for the coming year…or rather, I wrote about how I, personally, planned to move forward, the things I hoped to work on in my life. Things like living up to my own ideals, and not caring as much about what others think of me, but also, being kinder, more careful with others, knowing when remaining silent, in kind courtesy might outweigh speaking loudly in truth, and vice versa.

2020 had been a year rife with necessary loud truths. While I have taught my children to lead with kindness, and I have tried very hard to model empathy, and lead by example in that department, I have done so knowing that I will often fall short, because humans are fallible, and life is imperfect. I have striven, also, to teach them to listen to others, to strive to be understanding, and, in the end, to stand up to injustice.

We were That Family. You know the one. We were the family that takes their kids along with them to protests, and collects items to donate, who assembles and hands care packages out windows at stoplights. No, we didn’t drag them along to protest marches, or force them to join us. We talked about what we were doing, and why. If there was something we felt was worth protesting, and they agreed, we let them make signs and join us. We stayed toward the outside and/or back of crowds. We protested peacefully. We stayed in the back, on the edge of the crowd, where it was safe for the kids to be, but we let them yell, and chant, and lift their signs high. We taught them the value of standing up for things in which they believe, being true to their ideals, and taking an active role in their community. We participated in candlelight vigils, and met on street corners with throngs of neighbours after 9/11. We protested California’s Prop 8 (more than once). We protested school budget cuts, and drove with friends to the State Capitol to protest there, as well as meet with our State legislators. The kids participated in school walk-outs, with our support. We took part in beach clean-ups, food and clothing drives, they made toys and other supplies for local pet shelters, volunteered their time, and worked on other community service projects with and without us, through school, our church, Girl Scouts, and other community-based groups.

At home, we’ve watched elections, talked about voting, and when they were old enough some of them participated in leadership at school, or worked at polling places on Election Day. We encouraged them to call and write to their elected officials, to speak up, to be heard. It was important to us that our children grow up understanding that they had the power to effect change ~ the right way: peacefully, and through appropriate channels, because, in a democratic republic, this is how things work. This is how We the People take part in our government. That’s why it is “government of the people, by the people, and for the people.” WE are “the people.” All of us. Whether we are writing and calling our legislators, marching in the streets, sending postcards encouraging voters to VOTE, or running for office ~ it takes all of us to make our government work for all of us.

So, on the 6th of January, I found myself sitting down to watch the certification of the Presidential Election, after a long and sometimes very difficult year, in which tensions were high, due not only to politics, COVID-19, and all the dichotomous opinions on those issues, but also due to so many other things ~ Things like being home, all the time, with the same people, who we all love, of course, but, let’s be honest, I am sure our kids would rather go hang out with their friends IRL, than their Mom & Dad all the time. Things like the losses of people we care about, that feel unresolved, because we can’t travel to see them, or those close to them. Things like people we love having major illnesses…that well, are just there, but we can’t do anything, and we just live so far away (or maybe you don’t, maybe you live close, but there’s still just nothing to be done). Things like high school Seniors losing their last year of school, what would have been the last year of Marching Band, or whatever sport, or other activity they love, and at which they excel…and there’s just nothing we can do, but watch it slip away. I don’t even know why I tuned in to watch. Perhaps, I felt it would be reassuring. Maybe I thought, once the Election is certified, I will feel like we are really moving on to the Next Chapter, and whatever that might bring.

Let’s be 100% clear here: I do not subscribe to the Politician as White Knight Savior theory, no matter who is running/taking office. I decline party affiliation, and always have. I feel that what we have been doing these past few years is not working, and things have got to change. I can say without a shadow of doubt that I do not want to see DJT at the helm. He has mocked a disabled reporter (and frankly, I think it all should have ended there for him, if not before), made misogynistic remarks, and continued to drive a wedge between the People of the United States, instead of making any attempts to draw them together. He draws a line in the sand, between His People, and The Other People, which is not how a leader of a Nation should lead. We are all The People. And, yes, I know I only mentioned a few things here. I don’t want to beat a dead horse. That’s not what I came to write about. In my opinion, the case against DJT is strong. You can stand wherever you stand on that point. We don’t have to agree, and I am not likely to change your mind, but please remember that does not mean I have to like it.

I could write about the events of January 6th, and how they impacted me, but I feel that’s been written about ad nauseam. I have one thing to say on the matter here.

On January 6th, after I had managed to process a bit, and come up for air, and made sure that my Dad made it safely to and from his appointment in the City that day, I opened Twitter.

My youngest, now a Senior in high school, had tweeted out the words:

“I don’t feel safe.”

The most important thing we, as parents, hope is that our children will always be (and feel) safe. That they will know, as long as we are here, no harm can come to them. We are here. And once again, just like on those days ~ yes, multiple days ~ when one of my children sat huddled on the floor under a desk, during a lockdown that wasn’t a drill, my child (who is almost grown, I know, but will always be my child) doesn’t feel safe.

I want to tell her everything will be okay.
I want to tell her the system will work.
I want to tell her.