As 2018 draws to a close, I find myself, as always, trying to make some sense of what’s been. This year, more then most, however, I’m thinking, “Why?” Not the big “WHY?” Not the WHY to end all Whys. Just, “Why?” I mean…why do that? Why bother trying to make sense of everything that happened in the past year when, you know, it’s over, and what I could do, instead, is move on?
Of course, I get it. There will be THINGS. Things that carry over into the Brand New Year that will need to be Dealt With. Things that Continue. Things of the past that impact Future Things. Like…you know, that’s Life. In or out of the Big City, by the way. Not that I have actually lived very far out of the Big City in my life, but, I assure you, people have lives absolutely everywhere on Earth, and they all probably function in roughly the same way. We all meet challenges, and we all deal with them in whatever way we do. And sometimes, we get it right, and sometimes, we don’t. Sometimes, things work out well, and sometimes, they don’t. Sometimes, things are easy, and fun, and pleasant, and great, and sometimes, they aren’t. Sometimes, there are unexpected bonuses, or prizes or perks or vacations ~ whee!! Sometimes, there are unexpected bills, penalties, fees, illnesses, layoffs…*sigh* (or cry) And that’s how life goes for everyone, everywhere, I think. Which is not to say that any of our problems are not important. I just think, maybe, as I get older, I am starting to feel more like these are all just cycles, like waves in the ocean. I am learning to accept that there will always be ups and downs, highs and lows, and just to try to relax and ride along with all of it, as best I can. Which is not to say I can’t have goals and aspirations, or work toward achieving things. I do believe in working hard and doing the best I can to be the best possible version of me. That’s what I can control. It’s more about learning to accept the things I can’t control, and weather those storms as they come along and disrupt my plans. I’m not giving up on making plans. Just accepting that my plans are always going to be more of a loose framework than actually set in stone.
So, now. My plans, moving into the New Year are fairly simple, really.
Accept that I am a work in progress.
Balance the books and pay bills every Monday.
Strive to buy coffee out only 1x/week, and remember my reusable cup when I do.
Exercise at least 3-5x/week, and do my PT at least 5x/week. *
Play my banjo every day.
Accentuate the positive.
Focus on forgiveness.
Breathe, drink water & eat real food. **
Read every day.
List stuff on my etsy shop within 1 week of making it. ***
Work in the garden at least 1x/week.
Try to be more present & attentive.
Sew/knit/crochet or otherwise craft/make something every week.
I will NOT:
Beat myself up if I fail.
Give up because I miss a step (week, day, whatever).
Care what other people think about this list, me, or anything I’ve written here.
*This should be more, but I am being realistic.
**You’d think these would be no-brainers, but I’ve met me.
***This is after listing all the stuff that’s already waiting to be listed!
So, there you have it.
So long, 2018. You have been a helluva year. Laughter, tears, challenges and triumphs, to be sure. You’ve brought with you another adult child, a new roof, and a lot of life and homeownership experience. You weren’t a bad year, altogether, but you weren’t exactly and easy year, either.
So, with a still-stiff shoulder, and great hopes for the future, I bid you a relatively fond farewell. Please take all your germs with you, as we are all hoping for much greater health in 2019.